| BINGE... argh. |
[May. 8th, 2004|09:53 am] |
okay so i started my 40 day diet on wednesday with a 40 hour fast. not long, i know. the only reason i chose 40 was because you know 40 hours. 40 days. right. i like organization, and it just made sense to me. so here was my plan:
day 1:
fast (water, diet soda, tea, black coffee)
no exercise (i absolutely just CANT do it when i dont eat anything, and i get SO tired)
day 2:
200 cals or lower
only fruits and veggies
exercise (i was supposed to, but i didn't)
day 3:
BIINNNNGGGGEEEE!!!!!
ugh. disgusting, i was supposed to stay under 400, which isn't so hard. and i was only at 230 cals by 9:00pm but then i just HAD to eat a little piece of bread. i knew what that would do. i knew i'd binge, i knew i'd eat all the bread in the house (which was only three pieces, thank GOD) but then i moved on to eggo waffles (only 3 left... which was 3 too many) then i found candy in my room... chocolate... and had a few pieces... then i ate 2 bananas and some top romen (raw)... the total is, i'm guessing, about 2000 calories... its disgusting. and i dont want to count. and i cant believe i did that because i was doing so well until i saw that fucking bread. i wasn't even hungry! at least i'd exercized and burned 1000 calories, too bad that does nothing for me if i eat 2000. it was horrid, but i WASN'T hungry. its just the bread. always the bread. can someone help me with this? well actually i know if i dont eat any of it, i'll hardly ever binge. so thats it. that was my last binge. no more. ever. and i'm debating on whether or not i'm going to fast today. its supposed to be a 600 day (i'm doing fast-200-400-600) then repete for 40 days. and the calories i ingest are only supposed to be veggies and fruits, no bread, no candy, no cake, etc. but i allowed for balance bars for the protein, but only one a day. nothing cooked, nothing that has to go in the microwave, or the toaster, or the oven, etc. but i FAILED after three days. omg. its awful. but now. i'm back on track. should i fast today? and try to tomorrow also?
thanks all.
luv you guys.
steph |
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| completed 200 day. |
[Apr. 25th, 2004|11:01 am] |
Okay, so i started the 2 4 6 8 diet yesterday and successfully completed my first 200 day. it wasn't so bad actually, but after binging for two days, and gaining like 5 lbs it was time to get serious... At soccer yesterday i also jogged 3 miles in 30 minutes and 10 seconds, my all time best. i was sooo proud of myself!!! we didn't do much though for the other 2 hours and 30 minutes beacuse hardly anyone showed up, but it was still nice to be outside randomly jogging around after a soccerball and getting a tan! I just realized i've never posted here before so here are my disgusting stats:
age: 15
height: 5'6"
hw: 170 (omg. how icky!)
cw: 135 (ew.ew.ew.ew.ew)
lw: 130 (last week... *sigh*)
stgw: 120 (by june 1st)
ltgw: 113 (my perfection. but if i happen to go down to 107 i wont mind.)
I haven't had an eating disorder for that long... i started losing weight around january of this year by exercising and just eating healthier/less and dropped about 30 lbs in three months... well it started off healthy, but then it sort of turned into this battle with food. then one day, after eating a fucking TON of food, i made myself throw it all up and started my binging/purging. i dont do it very often, mostly i try to eat as little as possible so i dont have to throw up but it actually got a lot easier for me after the first few weeks. anyway. i joined this community looking for support... i can be rather weak sometimes and give in to food. so if anyone wants a fasting buddy or to be talked out of going to eat that cookie somone left on the counter last nite, my aim sn is 'perirdevie' and you can IM me anytime we're online to talk about eating disorders or food or fasting or whatever and hopefully we can help each other out!
- Steph |
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